You can’t fail if you never try, right? I’d like to believe that’s what’s preventing me from pursuing any dream I have, otherwise the latter is that I’m an unmotivated human and I deserve the stagnant state that I’m experiencing.

What do you do when you have no drive or desire? Lately I’ve just been merely going through the motions. Waking up is a struggle but once I manage it, I begin the countdown of hours until I can return to bed. Each day feels indistinguishable. I suppose I feel like I failed.

Maybe I haven’t failed, if my sole aim is to survive another day, another week. If that’s the standard then maybe I’m succeeding. I just turned twenty-two and completed college. Now, the only thing anyone wants to know is what my next step is. All I can muster is the intention to wake up tomorrow. I keep hoping that this is a passing phase, that I’ll start the next day with an undiscovered passion, that I’ll fall in love with life again and myself. Unfortunately, it never does.

I feel like a failure. I fear that when my time comes, I’ll have nothing to show for myself. I wish I had more advice for anyone who feels this way, I wish I knew why I was writing this in the first place. Perhaps it’s an attempt to prove that it’s normal to feel this way. Or as a reminder to my future self, when I snap out of this, that it gets better. That sounds cliché and I feel quite defeated. Nevertheless, the point of creating this blog was depict the life of a young adult navigating life. Maybe this isn’t unusual, maybe everyone feels this way at times but we don’t discuss it enough.

So, yes, my only goal is to wake up tomorrow and survive another day, because then I can consider myself successful.