If this chapter of my life had a title, I think, “Learning to Embrace Solitude” would be fitting. The word “alone” often has a negative connotation but I’m quickly learning that becoming comfortable with your own company is a profound lesson in life.

I have come to realize that I rely very heavily on those around me. So much so that doing things alone or not engaging in constant conversation makes me anxious. If I’m not expecting a text or a Snapchat from someone throughout the day, I feel uneasy. Over the last few months I’ve been working on this issue.

I started small, like going to the gym alone, and enjoying a coffee in the morning by myself. I’ve grown to appreciate a quiet morning. I get to enjoy my own company without the pressure of entertaining someone else. Shifting my perspective to “getting to be” alone rather than “having to be” alone has made a major difference. It can really be incredibly relaxing to not stress about making someone else happy, or consider the thoughts and opinions of another person. You have to freedom to do things on your own time, the way you want to.

Be the person you want to be with. No one knows how to make you smile or laugh quite like you do. Realize that you can be everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself. Once you learn that being alone isn’t a bad thing, it can actually be enjoyable, and makes walking away from things that no longer serve you significantly easier. Have the courage to walk away.

If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that no matter how much you care for someone or how much they love you, there is always the possibility that one day, you will part ways. Ultimately, you only have yourself to rely on, so why not get to know yourself? Pay attention to the things that you enjoy in life, whether it’s creating, cooking, exercising, or gaming, and do more of it, unapologetically. Appreciate your own company and the unique experience it has to offer.